Living an Unfulfulled Life

This is my response to a question posed by Kimberly at She Scribes.

I know exactly how you feel! I’m 47 and not pleased at all about my weight. I also have unfulfilled hopes and dreams, but to a certain extent, I am happy where I am. I adore my husband (the only thing I’d change is to give him a more positive, optimistic spirit). My job is very satisfying. We make a comfortable enough living (we’re better off than a lot of people, but as is human nature, I suppose, I’d like to have more money in the bank).

Here’s the way I look at life: It’s a pathway, full of rocks and boulders, bends and curves, hills and valleys. You can’t see what’s ahead, and you don’t have a map. Every moment you have choices. Do you take the left fork or the right? Do you climb over the fallen tree or crawl under it? Do you push the rock out of the way or shove your way through the brambles around it? A couple of times, I’ve hit a dead end or an impossible impasse, so I turned around and went back. In a way, it’s frustrating to retrace your steps and run into the people you thought you were going to pass by using a shortcut, but if the way becomes a little easier, it’s worth it, and maybe you learned something about yourself.

Sure I wish I’d stuck it out a little longer at one of my jobs, just to see if the big corporation that bought out the company would have offered me a position in New York. I’m not sure I would have been happy there, if they had offered it to me, but it would be nice to know. And where would I be now if I hadn’t quit my job in 2007 to try something different, only to return to the same position and pay four years later. Would I have gotten a promotion or would I have lost my job in the layoffs in 2008? No way to know. I just have to trust I did the right thing.

Life is a path to be discovered day by day, mile by mile. Sometimes the way is easy, sometimes it’s strewn with obstacles.  Some days you’ll struggle to move an inch. You’ll think you can’t put one foot in front of the other any longer. The next day is likely to bring you sunshine, gold nuggets, and fluffy kittens that will make all the hardships worthwhile, if you just keep moving.

About Taminar

When I grow up, I want to make movies and write books. Now in my 50s, I wonder if I'll ever really accomplish the dreams of my youth. I have made two short films, one for a college film-making class, the other for an MTV-sponsored contest. I have written short plays that have been produced, and a few short stories and reviews that have been published. I also perform and direct for community theatre. My working life has included stints in local TV news, public relations, retail management and cashier, and for a couple of years, I made the rides go at Walt Disney World. I have two cats and a husband.
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